Funny Short Stories For Twilight
by The Me Maniac
Summary: this is for all who like a laugh! who love Twilight! And think spicy chicken burns! These are short stories for Twilight. So go click the blue buttons above.
1. Spicy Chicken

**Hello there! I'm glad you actually took the time to click the little blue buttons labeled ' Funny Short Stories for Twilight! ^_^ I'm so happy. Now go on and read....what are you still reading this for? Go on! Unless you want to read the thing below before the actual story?**

**Inner me ( yes, I have an inner. I used to have an inner emo, but she died.....long story. ): hi**

**me: Hi yourself.**

**Inner me: That's a nice way to talk to yourself.**

**Me: you idiot**

**Inner me: You just insulted yourself.**

**Me: *twitch* Inner me, go and say the disclaimer.**

**Inner me: Okay! Outer me doesn't own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does. Though, outer did try to by it off of her.......but she only had a dollar on her so......yeah. Now read the story!**

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Chapter 1: Spicy Chicken

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Bella and Edward were walking through the cafeteria with lunch trays in their hand and they were heading toward the lunch line. As they waited, Bella saw something that looked appetizing. She poked Edward in the arm and he looked at her.

"What?" Bella pointed toward the thing she was curious about. It was wrapped in that silver stuff and she could smell the aroma coming off of it.

"What's that?" Edward looked a the thing she was pointing to.

"It's spicy chicken." Bella smiled.

"I've never had that before. I want it." Edward shook his head.

"Don't get it."

"Why not?"

"'Cause you won't be able to handle it." Then the line moved and Bella saw her last chance to get her spicy chicken. She looked at Edward and noticed that he was off looking in another direction and she made a quick grab for it. Luckily Edward didn't notice until they were sitting alone at a table in the corner. The rest if the Cullen family were out hunting. He noticed when Bella took the silver stuff off.

"I warned you." Bella shook her head and took a bite of the spicy chicken. She looked calm at first until she made a face and spit it out on her tray.

"IT BURNS EDWARD!!!! IT BURNS!" Edward tried to calm her down and took her by the shoulders.

"Well, I told you not to eat the spicy chicken!" Then he took a water bottle from no where and gave it to her. She chugged it down in 20 seconds and she looked fine after that. After that, she glared at the evil chicken for about a minute until she got an idea. She turned to her vampire boyfriend and he gave her a look that would make you burst out laughing.

" Edward, you try it." He raised both his eyebrows in shock before replying.

" I can't, I'm a vampire." Bella put her hands on her hips.

"That's your only excuse? Come on, you can always throw it up later." Edward sighed before taking the 'thing' in his hand. He looked at it for a minute before talking a bite. After a second, he ran to the fountain. Bella laughed at him.

" HA! You only lasted one second and I lasted five. Who can't handle it now?" Edward walked over to her and grabbed her arm.

" Neither of us. Now let's go." Then he dragged her out of the cafeteria, leaving everyone to stare at the door that they just left through...

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**Well, do you like it? This might become a multi-chapter type thing if you review. I have other ideas that I have talked over with my super-secret organization. Alright then, review please! I'll take criticism because you have to learn from mistakes. And, yes I know, It's short, but the title does say 'short stories'. Bye!  
**


	2. Nickname

**Yay! It's the second chapter! *does happy dance* I'm so glad you guys are reviewing, and no I was not high and/or wasted when I wrote this, I was just hyper. I'm almost always hyper.**

**Inner me: Yeah, take it from soneone who lives _inside_ her.**

**Me: Hey!**

**Inner me: Hey nothing.**

**Me: Whatever, I shouldn't allow you to read this.**

**Inner me: I'm you, I can just look in the memory bank to see it.**

**Me: I told you not to go in there!**

**Inner me: I didn't!**

**Me: well...okay then. Just say the disclaimer thing.**

**Inner me: Why can't yo do it?**

**Me: Because I told you to.**

**Inner me: Fine. Hyper Twilight Ride does not own Twilight. Happy?**

**Me: Yes I am.**

**Inner me: Okay then....**

**Me:...**

**Inner me: WELL WRITE THE STORY!!!**

**Me: Oh, right! **

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Chapter 2: Nickname

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Bella lied in her bedroom, thinking about Edward. He was supposed to be there in a bit and she was bored. She switched onto her stomach and stared out the window. All of a sudden a face appeared and she fell off her bed in fear. She got up and saw Edward laying on her bed, staring at her. He waved his hand, signaling for her to join him and she did. They lied there for a few minutes when Bella started getting tired. She knew she was going to fall asleep soon so she thought she would say good-night.

"Good-night Eddie." Edward gave her a funny look before speaking.

"Eddie?" Bella looked at his face and nodded.

"Seriously, Eddie?" Bella pushed her self up.

"Yeah, why? Is there anything wrong with the nickname I gave you?" Edward sat up straight.

"Well, yeah. I mean, I prefer Edward over ' Eddie'." Bella glared at him.

"Well it's better than 'Eddie-weddie Poo', don't ya' think?"

"Can't you just call me Edward?"

"..."

"..."

"No."

"Why not?"

"'Cause Edward is old fashioned. I prefer Eddie."

"Call me Edward."

"..."

"..."

"Fine." Edward smiled and hugged her. They both lied down again, and stayed there for about a few minutes before Bella spoke.

"Well, I'm going to call Jacob, Jakie." Edward sighed before speaking.

"Bella, just go to bed."

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**Did you like it? Sorry super secret organization, I decided to save the best one for another time. As of now I have nothing else to say except review. So...please review. Thank you. ^_^ Well, actually I want you to read mrs. jasper ha1e's (Sorry, but the penname wouldn't come out right))stories. One's about Alice, and one is about Alice and Jasper. READ THEM!  
**


	3. The Hate Letter

**Um...I updated!...Yay...**

**Funny Short Stories for Twilight:**

Chapter 3: The Hate Letter

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_Dear Bella, Edward, and Dog,_

_I hate you all! Dumb vampires. Cirque Du Freak is better. No romance, drame, or anything is in that. Just comedy and funiness. You guys are soooooo boring. Done with Twilight. Edward's gay. Seeya!_

_Hate you all,_

_Sarah Marsh_

Bella folded the letter and stuffed it in her pocket. What was that all about? She took a brush from her dresser and started pulling through her hair.

'What's Cirque Du Freak?' She thought. She shrugged and put the brush down. She might as well tell Edward and Jacob. She knew what this 'Sarah' character meant as dog. It was actually quite funny. Dog. Should have been stinky dog. Even when he's a human, his breath still stinks like a dog!

"Edward! Jacob! Get over here!" She wanted so bad to call Jacob a dog. Edward and Dog came in a slit second later. She took the note out of her pocket and gave it to Edward.

"Read." She commanded. When Edward was done, he had a look of shock on his face.

"I'm not gay!" He yelled. He tossed the note to Jacob to read. Bella hugged him.

"I know you're not." She comforted. When Jacob was done, he gave them all a quizzical look.

"Who's the dog?" He asked.

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**Hahaha....kinda short, but it matches up on inspiration. Sorry. Review please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**hyper twilight ride**


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